“Regrets…I have a few…”

It has been 3 weeks since I returned from my friend’s Celebration of Life Service. Things have changed in the funeral business. Today it is a much happier event, memorializing the life of the loved one. Gone are the hired “wailers” wearing black and sad tears. My friend’s Celebration of Life was just that. Held in her favourite pub/restaurant, serving her favourite appetizers and a complementary make your own Caesar (drink) bar. Her favourite drink. Overall about 150 people arrived. There was laughter, hugs and toasting. Happy tears were shed and stories were told. I had a small bit of uneasiness. This is not the funeral process I was conditioned to. In my younger days, the funerals I attended were of grandparents and distant relatives. It was very important to remain stoic. That meant no laughter.

My 71 year old father passed away 5 years ago. During his time in hospice, he shared with us that he had no regrets, he had a great life. I felt sadness and joy listening to him tell us. I was so fortunate to be able to be part of my family sitting with him until his passing. He had such a strong and quiet presence. I wished I had told him more how blessed I was to have him in my life. Something tells me he already knows.

So the $64,000 question(s), will have I regrets? Will There be peace and freedom when meeting my maker? I can make myself dizzy thinking about the things I did not do or missed out on. Anguish and worry can take over. How many sand grains of time are left in my hourglass? Have I done enough to make my mark to feel like I had a great life? I go straight to the extreme of it all. Panicked that not enough has been accomplished by me to have “no regrets”.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Overlook the most beautiful accomplishments in our lives. The pure and simple everyday wonderments we take for granted. i have a great life. So many gifts to be grateful for. My handsome caring husband of 34 years, my two beautifully talented daughters and my creatively rambunctious  grandson. Growing up, my family was always nurturing and attentive. The friendships I have now are supportive and unconditional. I am beholden.

Has my life been flawless, perfect or without snags? Absolutely not. As years have passed I simply try to not oversee the things I took for granted… the beauty in all the gifts life gives me everyday.

🎉

MCM