More and more our generation’s adult children are moving back home. To live with their parents. Our daughter moved in 3 years ago. I had mixed feelings. Of course I wanted my child back. We had downsized to a smaller house for two. To add another person might be tight. I had visions of dealing with an unruly teenager. Of course, she wasn’t a teenager anymore. She is a full grown woman.
So many feelings. How do I parent my adult child. Do I parent my adult child? The first months were pretty simple. She was in her room most of the day. Surfaced for food and drink. My daughter worked remotely so she spent 8 or more hours working. I felt the rest of her time was none of my business. Reminding myself she is an adult, not a child. We were working out boundaries and house rules. It was me and my husband mainly who needed to work on boundaries. It was hard not to say things like “Where are you going?” or “text me when you get there.”
I learned that while our daughter was living with us what a very accomplished woman she had become. I mean I always knew she was a great kid but I had not lived with her day in and out for 12yrs. She was not a child anymore. She did not need her boo boos kissed, she knew right from wrong. She now needed me to listen, to hear what she had to say. Be a friend and confident.
I can say our relationship blossomed into a beautiful mother and adult daughter friendship. I am so grateful to have her in my life. I would not have made one change to our time together. She helped me grow. To believe in myself. To sparkle and shine. She has been a great role model for me.
My birdie flew the nest 6 months ago. Empty nest syndrome 2.0. This time I cried for the joy of having her in my life. To know no matter how far she travels or how busy she gets I am in her heart.
Mid-Century Mama 